- – - – bye Dubai

You know how sometimes TV sitcoms or music artistes reach a point where they’ve run out of ideas, and so, they come up with an episode that shows flashbacks, or a “Best Of…” album.  Well, our journey in Dubai has come to an end, so, here’s a pictorial glimpse of how we ate our way through this desert city, and our encounters, good and bad, along the way.  (My way of saying I don’t have time to blog about all our food-related experiences so I’m just gonna lump it all into one very long blog post).

The Good

Celebrating our 1st Wedding Anniversary at the Burj Al Arab. Darrell and the other guys from Al Mahara made sure we were served only the best!  Unfortunately, they also got us knackered by the time the main course arrived!  The glaring, bulging eyes of the giant humphead wrasse made us think twice as we had our fish course.  We were also presented with an absolutely wicked complimentary cake.

Bahri Bar, MAS – My brother Andrew has a stopover in Dubai || Japengo, MJ – My brother Jeremy and sis-in-law Sophie visit Dubai || Zhenghe, MJ – Darrell chats with my Dad, and Mom, who have a stopover in Dubai || La Parilla, JBH – Myung Seri serves as witness to the spectacle of Ben and Bernie having 1 kilo of beef at La Parilla.

Birthday/Anniversary dinners at Vu’s, The Rib Room, Tang, Reflets par Pierre Gagnaire.  The latter being the benchmark for all other fine dining restaurants in Dubai.

Ben’s team at Junsui, and first time on TV! On Chef Osama’s cooking show.

Ben cooks at home…only on really special days!

Ben and Bernie cook at home.

Bernie makes kuih keria (sweet potato donuts) || special apple pie || “power” breakfast || comfort cupcakes.

Bernie prepares for Chinese New Year || “Fortune Cat, Bountiful Pomelo, Welcome Spring” || Pineapple ‘ingots’ || Cheng t’ng (Singaporean dessert) || Pandan chiffon mini donuts.

Great discoveries! || Jay-Chou-endorsed chips found at Dragonmart || Chinese provision store at “Shoe City” in Deira || Dodo instant fishball beehoon soup, sold at some hypermarkets || Smelly, gooey cheese that Ben loves.

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The Bad But Oh-So-Good!

Johnny Rocket’s, HRC, Fat Burger!

The best caramel popcorn ever! || Ultra-wicked spicy cheetos || Mmmmm…KK donuts…. || Florence crepe sold at the nearby cinema – it’s so good we buy it to-go even when we’re not watching a movie.

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The Really Bad

“Mynah” wings from KFC || Udon? Soup? Waste water? || “Chinese” food? Kiss my Chinese ass it isn’t! || Local savoury snacks that only a dying, starving goat might eat.

Chef’s worst nightmare – the Housemate from Hell who || Melted a spatula || Used Ben’s sacred Global chef knife as a hammer! || Tried growing taugeh (bean sprouts) by dumping green beans into a cookie tin with water till it became slimy and rotten || Made Ben n I never want to look at pig’s trotter soup ever again.

Who moved my cheese?  TimeOut Dubai gives the Best Buffet award to Spectrum On One at the Fairmont every year.  For 450Dhs, you get soggy desserts, shellfish left to soak in melted ice water, waitresses pushing champagne and shotglasses filled with brightly-coloured poison to try to get guests so drunk that they don’t realise the cheese is gone, the food sucks, and TimeOut’s a fake.

And Ben and I thought our wedding cake was gaudy?  This really takes the cake!

Wonder if they fished out this giant squid from the tank at The Atlantis, Dubai Mall or 20,000 leagues under the sea.  Enough Sotong Bakar to feed the entire family, and then some.  Alternatively, you can make Calamari Necklaces or Headbands.

One thing is true about the Emirates.  You keep discovering… deformed egg and an unidentified object “discovered” in a can of tuna flakes.

Fear Factor comes to Dubai.

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The Story of Bernie at the “Dubai Open”

MAITRE D’: Just tap it lightly with the back of your spoon.  Then, combine the flavoursssh, combine the texturessss. GO FOR IT!

Bernie goes for it! Lightly she taps…. tap…tap.  A little harder…TAP….TAP….

BERNIE: It’s not breaking leh.

BEN: Tap it harder!

Bernie tries again. THUD!! THUD!!! THUD!!!

BERNIE: SOUNDS LIKE TENNIS BALL!!

Ben chokes on the other dessert he’s trying.  We both giggle madly like kids till we cry and have ab cramps.

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And The Just Plain Stupid

Posers.

No-frills coffee or fancy-schmancy dehydrated caffeine?  Wonder what they’d serve if I order a Whisky Dry.

Broccoli used as DECOR at the Fairmont.  Seriously!!

The JW Marriott’s idea of “festive” decor.  God rest ye Santa.

In Dubai, ANYONE can be a Junior Chef!
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So it’s goodbye and good luck to friends we’ve made in Dubai.  It’s been a pleasure!

And goodbye, Dubai.  We won’t miss you much.